Do you want to become a master of computer wizardry?
Do you want to impress your friends with your computer skills?
Do you want to be that wanted guy for solving every computer related problem?
Then follow these easy steps to learn tricks of computers:
Easiest way to copy files from one computer to antoher:
There are millions of different ways to copy files. But there is no need to overcomplicate things. We are gonna teach you the most basic way to copy files from one computer to another:
Step 1:Right click to file and choose "copy".
Step 2:Unplug the mouse.
Step 3:Plug the mouse to the target computer.
Step 4:Right click to wherever you want to store files and choose "paste"
If you followed these steps correctly, congratulations you just copied your files without using weird dongles, diskettes, casettes or cd's.
Safest way to shut down a computer:
If you think safest way to shut down your computer is using "shut down" option of windows you are absolutely wrong. But no worries. We are here to teach you all of the necessary computer knowledge. If you choose this option or use any button on your computer case your computer actually wont shut down completely. This is a built in feature implemented by NSA for recording your voice and watching you via webcam and microphone of your computer. So, the safest way to shut down a computer is unplugging it.
How to prevent computer viruses:
Computer viruses are the biggest pandemic in the world. According to researchers every 4 of 5 computers gets computer viruses in their lifetime*. However, there are easy ways to prevent computer viruses:
1)Always use your keyboard with a condom
It is common sense. If condoms protects you against STD's why it cannot protect your computer against dirty hands? Every one of us has a friend that loves touching keyboards with their nasty hands. But what protects your computer from getting viruses after that unprotected contact? The solution is using condoms to protect your computer agains human viruses.
2)Do not stick anything into holes of your computer
For fucks sake, have some dignity. If you are doing this, your computer is vulnerable to every kind of virus. So, stop sticking weird dongles or any other object into your computer. Only thing that should be attached to your computer must be power cord.
3)Wash your computer regularly
According to studies washing your computer regularly drops the chance of getting viruses by 60%*. If you are not a dirty neckbeard you should clean your computer with soapy water or better with alcohol.
4)Stop watching pron
No need to explain why it is bad for your computer. Stop being a bloody wanker and delete your pron stash before giving your computer an STD.
*Source(s): Dude, Trust Me.
